[temehika] desert nights

The desert nights were cold, but most nights Hikari preferred their chilly bite to the plush embrace of his royal bed, padded with more pillows and blankets than he knew what to do with. Perhaps more importantly, he felt less alone when he wasn't lying in the middle of his large chambers, situated at the furthest end of Castle Ku. At least out here, he had a friend.

 

"...Ritsu," he spoke quietly, barely audible over the sharp winds surrounding the cliff. But he knew his voice would be heard. "Mikka's been looking brighter lately. She visited the Leaflands last week, and I had a few soldiers escort her there. I had planned to see her there myself, but she insisted that that was no job for a king. Apparently Pala has been teaching her to garden, and they’ve succeeded in growing a few flowers already… Perhaps one day we’ll live in a Hinoeuma covered in greenery. But no doubt you've already heard this from her; I can see she's brought them to show you, too.

 

“Being a king is… not what I expected. Most assumed my brother would be the one to take the throne, and my education in the matter was of secondary importance. The teachings I did receive were about battle strategy and how to dominate wars, not how to manage a functional nation. That knowledge has no place in the Ku I envision. But Benkei is by my side, and he tells me much of my father’s few years of peaceful reign. I’m aware this wasn’t what you hoped for our nation, but… I know you’d want the best for Mikka.”

 

He received no response. He continued.

 

"But nonetheless, Ku has been recovering... slowly. It will be a long while before the blood is washed from these reddened sands, but I will do all I can to see it become a reality. For now, what our people need is time to heal." 

 

"As do you, it seems, if this is how you're spending your nights." Another voice rang out in the breeze; one that was all too familiar. 

 

Hikari's eyes widened as he turned around to see the figure standing in the sands, hood raised to keep the wind out, the Staff of Judgment gripped in one hand.

 

"Temenos," Hikari murmured, only a little louder than his previous volume. "...I wasn't aware you had intended to visit Ku." 

 

"If you had known, would you have waited in the castle instead? I could have easily missed you out here." Temenos chuckled, stepping closer to the young king. His expression softened as he set his eyes on the impromptu grave, comprised of a sword with a headband tied around its handle, several small bouquets adorning the dull sandscape around it.

 

"...No, perhaps not. I’ve been finding myself coming here increasingly often these days.” Temenos seemed to raise a brow at him, but didn’t ask further. Instead, he walked a little closer to Ritsu’s grave.

 

“It’s naught but a small gesture, but… might I offer a prayer?” 

 

“Please, go ahead.” Hikari wondered how Ritsu would feel about his soul being blessed by the Sacred Flame. This was the spot where he watched countless comrades fall, their bodies given natural graves by the ever flowing motion of the sand. Ritsu had been the one to tell him to save his breath praying for the dead, so Hikari offered no such thing to him. He merely found himself hoping that Ritsu would appreciate someone else’s prayer instead. 

 

The two stood for just a moment longer, then Temenos opened his eyes and sank his staff into the sand, gesturing away from the cliff’s edge. “Now then. Shall we?” 

 

Hikari nodded solemnly, though he paced himself to lag behind Temenos’ brisker steps. “You haven’t told me why you’re here.” Though his voice was neutral, his words gave off more of an accusatory tone than he had intended. He was more surprised than anything – ever since the eight of them gathered for Agnea’s concert, contact between Hikari and his former travel companions had been sparse. They exchanged letters, of course, since most of them seldom stayed in one place long enough to plan any meetings in-person. Hikari and Ochette were the exceptions, remaining in their respective hometowns to help their people recover from the battles that ravaged the land. 

 

“And you haven’t asked, Hikari.” 

 

“There needn’t be a justification for friends to visit one another,” Hikari said, then paused for a moment. “...With that being said, you’ve never struck me as the kind of man who would do something without a reason.”

 

“Heh, even I am prone to the occasional impulsive decision every now and then. Let's just say I was in the area, shall we?”

 

The usual lightness in Temenos’ tone was difficult to read, but Hikari decided to leave it alone all the same. The night grew deep, and his fatigue had caught up with him. Temenos seemed to recall the path back to the castle town from their travels here, so Hikari let himself be guided into the streets of his hometown and through the castle gates. 

 

He arranged for a guest room to be prepared, and the two exchanged brief good night’s before Hikari retired to his own bedchamber. It was the same lonely room, but for a moment, he was back in an inn room halfway across the world, his seven companions waiting to greet him when he awoke in the morning. Perhaps tonight, the nightmares would cease. 

 

-

 

Temenos slumped onto the bed, noting to himself how comfortable the bed sheet felt. All members of the church led simple lives, and as one who was adopted by the pontiff at a young age, that barebones lifestyle is all he knew. After the pontiff took him in, and he assumed his duties as a cleric, Flamechurch had been his home. But little did he know that returning to it after his journey would feel so… alienating. 

 

The pontiff, Crick, and even Mindt… He was a man of few friends and even fewer he would call family, but in the span of a few months he had lost them all. The friends he made during the journey were dear to him, but none had any reason to follow him back to Flamechurch, busy pursuing their own dreams and fulfilling their duties. 

 

And as for him? 

 

He had his usual duties at the church, making paper plays and recounting stories of the gods to the village children. He had few, if any, cases that required his presence as the Inquisitor, now that Kaldena’s treachery had been brought to light. When he thought about it, it was she and Arcanette who led him down this path in the first place. With his promise to Roi now fulfilled, he no longer had anything to distract him from the punishing guilt and grief that had followed his journey for truth. 

 

Roi… had he suspected the Order earlier, could he have saved him? It was his role to doubt everything in Roi’s place, was it not?  During his journey, he let nothing stop him from discovering the truth; he owed at least that much to the ones who had been sacrificed in his pursuit. But now, all he had left was an aching loneliness and regret that ate away at his heart. 

 

And so he took walks. He walked outside Flamechurch, around the Crestlands, occasionally wandering down to the bustling cities of the Brightlands, as well. It gave him something to think about, something to do, and a reason to leave Flamechurch. He hadn’t expected one of his strolls to take him to the furthest end of Solistia, though no one would possibly believe he had done it unintentionally. Hikari had been kind enough to not probe, but Temenos could see the glint of curiosity, of unasked questions in his eyes. 

 

As he rolled over on the unfamiliar bed, trying to get comfortable within its fabrics, he heard the room’s door creak open. Swivelling his head towards the sound, he saw what he was quite sure was Hikari’s silhouette in the doorframe. Temenos sat upright on the bed as the other man slowly approached him. 

 

“Hikari…? Do you require something of me?” 

 

Without responding, Hikari walked up to the bed in the middle of the room, his movements sluggish and strange. Before Temenos attempted to talk to him again, he noticed that Hikari’s eyes were closed. Was he… sleepwalking? 

 

While he was familiar with the phenomenon, Temenos found himself frozen in place – he could only watch in silence as Hikari bent down and curled up on the bed. His expression remained unchanged, a sleeping face that was so peaceful it was as if he had safely fallen asleep on the bed in the first place. Temenos sighed a small smile. He saw little reason to keep Hikari from his sleep, and they had slept in the same inn room before, after all. 

 

Carefully placing one half of the blanket over Hikari's shoulder, Temenos slipped into bed himself, careful not to touch the sleeping warrior as he did. He briefly wondered how long it had been since he shared a bed with another. Not since his childhood, no doubt. Laying on his back, he stared at the ceiling of the bed, its intricacies illuminated by the moonlight that glowed from the window. His eyes traced the ridges and swirls of the woodwork, counting them instead of the sheep that usually accompanied his bedtime hours. One, two… 

 

“.....Mother…” 

 

A small voice snuck out from Hikari’s side of the bed, though Temenos could hardly make out the words through his sleepy mumbling. When he turned his head towards the sound, he saw that Hikari had nudged himself closer to Temenos, eventually pressing his forehead against his arm. If it had been any other day, or – dare he say it – any other person, he may have recoiled in discomfort. But there was something about the younger man’s sleeping face that put him at ease. 

 

The king of a great nation, a warrior of great strength… all titles seemed to fade away as he lay vulnerably in slumber. In an almost instinctive motion, he brushed a strand of hair from Hikari’s forehead before resting his eyes once more. If this was how the gods chose to answer his laments of solitude, then so it was meant to be. He knew how to take a hint. 

 

-

 

Hikari awoke slowly, his eyes settling on the ceiling first. This wasn’t his room – or at least, not anymore. He sighed, closing his eyes again. It had been months since he had begun using the king’s chambers, yet most days he still found himself waking up here, in his childhood bedroom. He could never recall how he had come into the room at all, as if there was someone else controlling his body while he was unconscious… unfortunately not a situation he was unfamiliar with. He tried not to think about what that might mean for his shadow self, and rolled over on the bed in an attempt to bury his thoughts. When his shoulder brushed against something strangely tender, his eyes shot open to find themselves reflected in the clear blue eyes of a familiar face.

 

“T-Temenos,” Hikari blurted out, sitting up immediately. The cleric seemed unperturbed, lying casually in his nightwear. If anything, he seemed amused at Hikari’s reaction. “I didn’t… you…” 

 

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all. You simply walked in here in your sleep last night and made yourself comfortable. I didn’t see any reason to wake you, so I let you be. I must admit you gave me a fright when you suddenly appeared in the doorway, however,” replied Temenos nonchalantly, waving his hand about. 

 

Hikari took a moment to calm himself, though his face still felt hot. “...I apologise. This room was previously my own. I thought I informed all the servants to keep it unoccupied.”

“Because you wander in every night? Not that I’m fit to chide another on their poor sleeping habits, but sleepwalking is usually a sign of stress and lack of proper rest. Based on your little excursion last night, I can imagine why that’s been happening.” Temenos sat up, his expression suddenly more serious, a touch of concern painted in his eyes.

 

“Sleepwalking? I see… so this is a common occurrence?” It was a sizable relief to Hikari to know that what was happening to him wasn’t a result of his cursed blood. That had been the main reason he ordered the clearance of this room, and Temenos’ unharmed presence was a clear indicator that “he” wasn’t involved. 

 

“I wouldn’t call it common, but I’ve heard of it, yes.” Temenos placed a finger on his chin. “You were also mumbling to yourself in your sleep. A nightmare, perhaps?”

 

“No, it was…” Hikari closed his eyes, trying to remember. “...Actually a rather pleasant dream, though I can’t recall any details. It’s been a while since I woke up so comfortably.”

 

“That's relieving to hear. I must say, I cannot remember the last time I fell into such a pleasant slumber, either. Though in my case, it was in no small part due to your princely bedsheets.” 

 

Temenos spread out his palm across the bed’s fabrics, and Hikari idly watched the cloth wrinkle and smoothen under his fingers. Then it struck him that he had been staring for a moment too long, and the silence hung for just a second more than he'd hoped for. 

 

“I’m… glad they were to your liking. But I’ll leave you to your own morning preparations now; surely I’ve imposed enough already.” As Hikari shuffled to the edge of the bed to stand, he felt a grip on his wrist, holding him in place.

 

“Wait, I…” Temenos started, but then stopped himself, releasing Hikari’s wrist from his grasp. “My apologies, I don’t mean to keep you. I’m sure you’re busy with your own duties, now that morning has come.”

 

Hikari looked at him, puzzled. He had never seen Temenos act so peculiarly, though he often acted as if he knew something that everyone else didn’t. But such knowledge wouldn’t make him hold onto Hikari, like that, would it? Or bring him to these sandy deserts, so far from his home in the northeast? 

 

Turning around to face the cleric, Hikari clasped his hands around the other man’s before it lingered away. “If there is something you require of me, you need but say the word, my friend. My duties can wait.”

 

Temenos began to laugh, to Hikari’s further confusion, though he did not pull his hand away this time. “Always so serious. No, I had merely… forgotten how nice it was to be in the presence of a companion. Absent-mindedly, I thought only of prolonging the time we had together, and– well, it’s silly of me to act like this. It isn’t as if you’re going somewhere far away.”

 

“Is that related to why you’ve come to Ku?” Hikari eyed the other man carefully. He gave no indication of an answer, only the darkening of his expression. “I feel reassured by your presence here, myself. After Kazan’s… passing, I had hoped Rai Mei would remain by my side, but she could not leave her clan and people unattended in Stormhail. I concurred with her decision, of course, but…”

 

“It’s lonely,” Temenos murmured, his voice low. “Lonely enough to seek the company of the dead, isn’t it?”

 

Hikari pondered his words for a second. How ironic it was, that the country he wanted to lead with fellowship was built on betrayal from his most trusted allies. He strove to make good on his promises, and treated all as his equal, as his friends. But Ritsu’s betrayal, Rai Mei’s departure and Kazan’s despair bore down on him – and time only proved to deepen the gap they left. 

 

Was it worth it? Kazan had asked him. His answer remained unchanged, but he could not bring himself to say it with the unwavering conviction he had back then. 

 

After a moment of pause, Hikari nodded solemnly. 

 

“Then perhaps that is why my footsteps led me here,” Temenos smiled bittersweetly. “And why yours brought you to this room last night. The gods have a funny way of showing us the way forward, do they not? After all, the dawn we fought for was to ensure we could live to see another day – not to wallow in the pain of the past.”

 

“The gods… perhaps you’re right. Trying to manage on my own has only brought me further away from my principles... I would gladly support you as you would do for me – that is, if you’ll be staying in Ku for much longer.”

 

“Is that a question or a request?” teased Temenos, his eyes brightening up again. Hikari’s gaze followed them when his pupils pointed downwards, to where he still had Temenos’ hand in his grasp. 

 

He quickly let go. Temenos’ perceptiveness often made him overly conscious of his own actions, and suddenly the implication of two men holding hands after sleeping in the same bed was not lost on him. “I… I had thought the desire was mutual.” 

 

“A request, then. One I’ll happily accept,” said Temenos, appearing pleased. “And you need not recoil from touching me, Hikari. You were rather willing to initiate contact last night.”

 

Eyes widening, Hikari's cheeks burned, his mouth slightly ajar in disbelief. He couldn't remember anything from his sleepwalking experiences, and wasn't even sure how much he was capable of doing in such a state. He didn't… do anything to Temenos, did he? 

 

Something about Temenos’ expression told him he wouldn't have given Hikari an answer even if he asked. 

 

“I… can have you relocated to another guest room. One where you’ll be undisturbed.” 

 

“There’s no need for that. I'm rather content with my sleeping arrangements at the moment.” Temenos smiled benignly at him. 

 

Hikari pursed his lips slightly. “If you insist, then…” If Temenos was not bothered by the experience, then he could hardly feel good about involuntarily moving him to a different room using his authority. He would rather not repeat the experience of that morning, of the sight of those bright teal eyes so close to him before he was even aware if he was dreaming or not. Shaking his head, he tried not to dwell on the memory. If he could get used to waking up in a different bedroom every morning, then perhaps he could get used to this, too – though neither were something he wanted to get accustomed to. 

 

“My, you don’t have to go along with it if it’s so disagreeable to you. This is merely the way I choose to support you.” 

 

Hikari blinked, noticing how furrowed his own brows were. “No, that isn’t it… I was just thinking repeated instances of this morning’s events may prove… difficult for me.” 

 

“How so?” Temenos asked, those teal eyes staring back at him again.

 

“When I saw you next to me in the bed, I felt–”

 

Suddenly a booming voice could be heard from just outside, in the hallways: “Your Majesty!”

 

“It appears your presence is needed elsewhere, Hikari,” chuckled Temenos. “But I’ll see you again tonight, no doubt; perhaps you can tell me more about your time in Ku then. And about… those feelings of yours.” 

 

Feeling his face heat up again, Hikari felt the need to reiterate what he said before a bellow rivalling Ochette’s summoned him once more, and he simply gave Temenos a sharp nod before making his way to the doorway. Their eyes met one last time when he turned to shut the door behind him. 

 

The desert’s usual warmth did nothing to cool him down. He sighed deeply as he pushed his hair out of his face, brushing it over to one side of his neck. He went over his schedule for the day in his head, from morning to night, and when he reached the end, Temenos’ words came back to him. In hindsight, he was unsure what he had even meant to say to him; how did he feel about it, really? Physical intimacy was something he was so unaccustomed to that he could barely articulate his feelings on the matter at all. It was simply something foreign – not unlike Temenos himself.

 

It was no use pondering over it now, so Hikari let it slide further away from his thoughts. After all, Temenos was a master at the art of obtaining answers – even if his methods were a bit… rough. If anyone could coerce the truth from him, it would be him.